Recently, I was under a lot of emotional stress, it bothered me like crazy...hence I decided to write it down as advised by a very wise and smart person who I am thankful to for enlightening me.
I haven't ever written what i have felt, I have always thought about it or drew something in regard to what I was feeling at that point of time. But nevertheless I shall try writing my feelings.
So basically I was feeling mentally dead, it is a state where you can carry out all everyday chores and work but none of it give you any joy. I felt extremely depressed, I missed a person so much that I wanted to crap reality and live in my memories where I could keep replaying the good memories I shared with that person and escape the truth that I was afraid of. The truth wouldn't seep in, and hope is to be blamed for that, my rational side just can't beat the hope and longing towards that person got unbearable. I felt as if I was submerged in water, but no amount of flailing could get me out of the water, I could stay rooted and watch the world pass by. I tried to communicate with that person many times but all I got back were messages telling me to stop trying because it was over and that was the worst part. All my relentless efforts to reconciliate were useless. I felt used, and that feeling quickly translated to anger and want for revenge to compensate for all the pain caused to me. But I was shown reason and logic by the same wise and smart person and I calmed down. After all of this I decided to just go with the flow, not going out of line or try too hard. Just be passive and patient. No matter what, I decided to try my best to remain optimistic. Slowly and steadily this aproach gave me a lot of peace and I became friendlier and much more calmer than i was before. So this is it. I have said what I had to. And i feel the burden getting off my chest already. But I won't ever lose hope, and that person will always have a special place in my heart. P.S.-Pardon my crappy writing. Live long and prosper.
I haven't ever written what i have felt, I have always thought about it or drew something in regard to what I was feeling at that point of time. But nevertheless I shall try writing my feelings.
So basically I was feeling mentally dead, it is a state where you can carry out all everyday chores and work but none of it give you any joy. I felt extremely depressed, I missed a person so much that I wanted to crap reality and live in my memories where I could keep replaying the good memories I shared with that person and escape the truth that I was afraid of. The truth wouldn't seep in, and hope is to be blamed for that, my rational side just can't beat the hope and longing towards that person got unbearable. I felt as if I was submerged in water, but no amount of flailing could get me out of the water, I could stay rooted and watch the world pass by. I tried to communicate with that person many times but all I got back were messages telling me to stop trying because it was over and that was the worst part. All my relentless efforts to reconciliate were useless. I felt used, and that feeling quickly translated to anger and want for revenge to compensate for all the pain caused to me. But I was shown reason and logic by the same wise and smart person and I calmed down. After all of this I decided to just go with the flow, not going out of line or try too hard. Just be passive and patient. No matter what, I decided to try my best to remain optimistic. Slowly and steadily this aproach gave me a lot of peace and I became friendlier and much more calmer than i was before. So this is it. I have said what I had to. And i feel the burden getting off my chest already. But I won't ever lose hope, and that person will always have a special place in my heart. P.S.-Pardon my crappy writing. Live long and prosper.
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